Dear dancers,
How do you answer that question:
**** how long have you been dancing? ****
Sometimes people ask me that,
right on the dance floor,
after they have asked me to dance.
Once so happens, I answered: "not too long"
& my lead immediately moved us off the dance floor,
to explain to me the basic 6 count. (I was quite familiar with it, tnx) but enthralled with his enthusiasm, I listened carefully and followed his movements.
Who knows what I might learn? ^_^
At the end of my tiny lesson I thanked him for his attention and let him be,
as a friend just asked me to dance.
I danced with my friend for a while & at that point I saw the guy put a hand on his mouth,
telling his friend: "oh sh*t she's a real dancer!"
I smiled to him, apologetically for the misleading. (What's a 'real' dancer anyway?)
I don't know if "not too long" was the right answer to his question,
but I was tired of listing numbers after a while.
over time, I've also tried the vague answer of "a while" which apparently sounds patronizing to some, So I don't use it that often.
I didn't encounter with that question on the dance floor for a long time now.
Not until yesterday, when a beginner blues dancer asked me to dance.
I wanted to answer : "does it matter?" or "Why don't we just dance and see", Not deciding what to say I eventually shrugged and we had a cute little dance.
when asked on the dance floor, I feel a bit discouraged by the question,
So, it made me think of some answers again
- If I answer: "oh, so and so years, I feel I'm being tested, evaluated as we do start dancing, I don't feel as free to do my usual shenanigans.
- If I answer vaguely it's not always welcomed as a joke.
- If I say I 'just started'...well :) it's either "you're pretty good for a beginner" or "you should do this more often" up to the reoccurring case of dance floor teaching..
I feel it changes expectations of the dance before the real dance, and why would you do that? why would you want to predetermine how good a dance would feel, based on a silly question instead of just trying it out?
I don't know about you, I always want to be SURPRISED FOR THE BEST.
Please don't take that away from me.
two pointers:
1. When asked on the dance floor, it always seems to me like you are new to this.
2. It's a misleading question. The people who ask it are cheating into trying to find out: "well, how good are you?" before starting to dance. For me it's the equivalent of not starting a Lindy hop dance with a pulse - Just throwing a swing-out out of nowhere Or talking English in an all Spanish class, It's just a different language, out of place.
Something else: It's not about how many years you've been dancing.
I have danced with people who have been dancing for a little shy of a year , who dance better than Most of the people on the dance floor and people
who have been dancing for 10 years
that can rip your arms out and vice verse.
Maybe a little advice for people who are prone to do that,
I try to assume each dancer I don't know in advance is the best dancer in the world. And you know what, if I make them feel like they are, They give the best dance they can. Also, if I can't give 100% of myself in a dance, I probably won't dance. I don't want to give less or more.
If you ask me that question as we start to dance, your expectations of me are different. I might not be able to give that 100%..
I think the most important question people should ASK THEMSELVES instead of other people is how can I make this dance amazing regardless of how 'good' or experienced my dance partner is.
:)
How do you answer that question:
**** how long have you been dancing? ****
Sometimes people ask me that,
right on the dance floor,
after they have asked me to dance.
Once so happens, I answered: "not too long"
& my lead immediately moved us off the dance floor,
to explain to me the basic 6 count. (I was quite familiar with it, tnx) but enthralled with his enthusiasm, I listened carefully and followed his movements.
Who knows what I might learn? ^_^
At the end of my tiny lesson I thanked him for his attention and let him be,
as a friend just asked me to dance.
I danced with my friend for a while & at that point I saw the guy put a hand on his mouth,
telling his friend: "oh sh*t she's a real dancer!"
I smiled to him, apologetically for the misleading. (What's a 'real' dancer anyway?)
I don't know if "not too long" was the right answer to his question,
but I was tired of listing numbers after a while.
over time, I've also tried the vague answer of "a while" which apparently sounds patronizing to some, So I don't use it that often.
I didn't encounter with that question on the dance floor for a long time now.
Not until yesterday, when a beginner blues dancer asked me to dance.
I wanted to answer : "does it matter?" or "Why don't we just dance and see", Not deciding what to say I eventually shrugged and we had a cute little dance.
when asked on the dance floor, I feel a bit discouraged by the question,
So, it made me think of some answers again
- If I answer: "oh, so and so years, I feel I'm being tested, evaluated as we do start dancing, I don't feel as free to do my usual shenanigans.
- If I answer vaguely it's not always welcomed as a joke.
- If I say I 'just started'...well :) it's either "you're pretty good for a beginner" or "you should do this more often" up to the reoccurring case of dance floor teaching..
I feel it changes expectations of the dance before the real dance, and why would you do that? why would you want to predetermine how good a dance would feel, based on a silly question instead of just trying it out?
I don't know about you, I always want to be SURPRISED FOR THE BEST.
Please don't take that away from me.
two pointers:
1. When asked on the dance floor, it always seems to me like you are new to this.
2. It's a misleading question. The people who ask it are cheating into trying to find out: "well, how good are you?" before starting to dance. For me it's the equivalent of not starting a Lindy hop dance with a pulse - Just throwing a swing-out out of nowhere Or talking English in an all Spanish class, It's just a different language, out of place.
Something else: It's not about how many years you've been dancing.
I have danced with people who have been dancing for a little shy of a year , who dance better than Most of the people on the dance floor and people
who have been dancing for 10 years
that can rip your arms out and vice verse.
Maybe a little advice for people who are prone to do that,
I try to assume each dancer I don't know in advance is the best dancer in the world. And you know what, if I make them feel like they are, They give the best dance they can. Also, if I can't give 100% of myself in a dance, I probably won't dance. I don't want to give less or more.
If you ask me that question as we start to dance, your expectations of me are different. I might not be able to give that 100%..
I think the most important question people should ASK THEMSELVES instead of other people is how can I make this dance amazing regardless of how 'good' or experienced my dance partner is.
:)
